The journal of Johnny Death

2003-2009

It will be gone soon.

Thanks for the memories.

Okay, let me get down to the point here.

I'm 28 years old now and it's been 6 years since I started using a journal to convey my inner-most thoughts, fears, joys, regrets, etc, etc you get the point.

I feel the time has come to get my priorities straight (for once) and just......cool off on the blogging for a while.

I'm doing this for the following reasons:

1. I'm older and wiser now and I just find it rather counter-productive now to whine about my life. (especially it seems to be picking up a little now) Doesn't mean I won't be venting my displeasure with anyone though, just means I will be telling it to your face then typing about it on some internet blog.

2. Am going to be returning to college in September and I need to be 100% FOCUSED on it and blogging constantly will only provide an unnecessary distraction.

3. Lack of journal replies, no-one seems to give a shit about me anymore, or more to the point, no-one ever did to begin with! I know when I'm not wanted.

4. Life's too short and am way too old for this emo shit now.

5. Unnecessary drama caused by some of the things I have typed on here, if people REALLY have a problem with what I think about them they should AT LEAST TALK TO ME about their misgivings instead of just hastily discarding me. But I guess with humans, you're damned if you do, you're damned if you don't.

6. Am moving out soon and plan to have a life completely of my own, once again blogging about shit I can't control will have no part in that.

Those are just some of the reasons I can think of right now, right now this looks like the last journal entry I'm going to type for a while. Thanks for reading, when or if I return, you'll know. (if you care at all that is, which is highly unlikely)

Ciao!

I'm sorry I can't be in a better mood on the eve of my 28th birthday. The title says it all. I don't care if some consider it nerdy or sad, I don't give a fuck. Those are the two main things in my life at the moment and they are so much better than people it's incredible! Games (in particular) have always been there for me, no matter what. A game or a music CD doesn't judge you, make fun of you, shun you, lie to you, steal from you, make up shit behind your back, aren't tribalistic to the point where they don't accept any 'outsiders' to their 'circle'. pretend you aren't there, etc. It's there for you, no matter what, through the good and bad times in your life.

Just had to get that off my chest.

Does anyone know what happened to peeps from the now-extinct AZ:UK forum?

Some of them seem to have vanished off the face of the earth.

I'm mainly talking about people like:

Pixel
Neety
Sammy
Destiny

All them people. Any info, I would be grateful.

But she lives 5 hours away from me.

Such is life.

*self-pitying process begins*

Johnny_Death

All I wanted to do was have a good time. But, as ever, it all turns to shit in the end. You people who think you are 'above me' just because I made a little mistake can go fuck yourselves, everyone of you.

LIKE YOU HAVE NEVER MADE A MISTAKE IN YOUR MISERABLE LIVES!!

I'm too pissed off to type anymore, fuck this.

..so I will say things seem to be looking up, big time! :) I'm really happy.....for once. lol

Also, I miss my PC games. :(

Here's my code so you can add me as a friend so I can beat yo ass! ;D

1977-1382-4813

Tottenham Hotspur
Carling Cup Winners 2008 :)

I passed the questionaire and now I have an interview with them next week.

Am looking forward to it. :)

I quit on Friday. Sorta 'jumped before I was pushed' kinda thing.

I did like someone there though. :/

Hope it all goes well for you all this coming year. (and for me as well, for once :/ )

To you all! :D

As I know this person is going to be reading this and didn't even have the guts/decency to tell me what was happening either face-to-face or on the phone, I'm going to put everything that happened right in here so that EVERYONE knows about it. I'm not going to make it friends-only or even private, I'm going to make it nice and public!

First off, how DARE you mock my hobbies in my spare time and just laugh at them? Sure, it's geeky, but I'd prefer to be doing things like that instead of doing seedy things like you!! Since when did BDSM and pirating music/DVDs become 'respectable' pastimes anyway, huh? (no disrespect to all you other BDSM'ers out there, or piraters for that matter)

I know you've been through alot in your past as well and that has contributed greatly to how you are now. (eg, mum being an ex-IRA supporter and dad being held by terrorists, being homeless for a while, etc) But really, telling someone by text WHO YOU JUST SLEPT WITH saying you never want to see them again it's not exactly classy is it? And to get to back with an old guy who bailed out on you as soon as you told him you were pregnant with his kid? Pathetic, yeah he really loves you, sure. You're not exactly setting a good example to the son either too, to be honest.

I know deep down you are a smart and intelligent person with a good heart but you'd prefer to act like a controlling and self-interested bitch to everyone you know so it's no loss to me really. Preventing me from contacting you just shows how thoughtless and inconsiderate you really are.

You complain that you are in 'fragile place' that you have probably been in for years anyway. Only now you've done more than that, you have dug your own grave and now you have to lie in it.

What you have failed to grasp is that I was in 4 failed 'relationships' before which weren't really relationships in the first place and all of them failed because they all didn't really want anything other than a temporary filler to their single lives. And you turned out to be no different. I've said this to them and I'll say it again to you, I'll find someone much, MUCH better than you and I'll be the happiest person alive. :)

And that time may come sooner than expected.

You couldn't even last a month with me and that is what amuses me the most.

If I EVER see you again (in a nightclub or wherever) I will simply refuse to acknowledge your existence. As from now on, you don't.

I'm done now, Happy Holidays, everyone! :

I pulled.

Why don't some people I thought I "knew" contact me anymore, what the fuck did I do? I consider myself to be a very good friend to most people I know but some people just take fucking liberties. DON'T BOTHER WITH ME IF YOU ARE JUST GOING BE MY BUDDY WHENEVER YOU FEEL LIKE IT!!

Please note this doesn't apply to anyone in my LJ list, just some on my VF and Myspace lists.

I know I'm going to be in trouble with some people because of this, but I can't keep it bottled up either.

I chase her to get what I want
The cold night does not deter me
The uneven, sliding surface beneth us does not deter me
Her long, black hair flows freely
As she turns her head for a glimpse at me
While she is running
She lets out a little giggle
There are eeries sounds of men laughing and women crying
As we run deeper and deeper into the forest
She starts to slow and slow
Until I catch up with her
A devious smile creeps upon her black lips
As she lies before me
I tear off her clean white clothes
I make her mine
Her skin against mine
Making her mine
In the pale moonlight
Until I look into her eyes
And they light up
Taking my soul in the process
Now I'm eternally lost in oblivion